Wednesday Greetings to all my Wunderpurr pals!
Today I thought a share a little excerpt from my novel - I do hope that mew enjoy it and help spread the word of my totally pawesome adventures!
Copyright Cathrine Garnell 2004 - 2013
Today mew can meet Posie, the hilarious posse of mice and the deadly V.F.T - a mutated Venus Fly Trap with decidedly homicidal tendencies, and not forgetting about the crop of genetically modified potatoes that are totally out of control! (Seriously!!!)
Excerpt
Downstairs in the laboratory, Mr P. peered through the
glass at the V.F.T., which was completely inert. “Better warm you up, I think,”
Mr P. said, turning off the cold air inlet pipe supply. He sat there with the
video camera on the tripod trained at the V.F.T. to record it coming around.
Slowly the V.F.T stirred in the tank, its jaws gleaming brightly in the light
as it stretched up towards the tank lid, its leaves sparkling and glimmering as
it vigorously shook itself awake.
Mr P. peered closely through the
glass. Some more changes had occurred since last night. The V.F.T. now appeared
to be looking straight at him, which unnerved him greatly. It moved itself
around in its pot until it appeared to be facing Mr P. head on. “It can’t see
me. It can sense me but it can’t see me. That is so weird!” Mr P. made more
notes in his book.
A few minutes later he mumbled,
“Let’s try this.” He moved his finger on the glass of the tank in a figure
eight. The V.F.T appeared to mirror Mr P.s finger, its shiny oval head moving
in an exact figure eight. Mr P. then moved his finger up and down the glass.
The V.F.T looked like it was nodding. Mr P. moved his finger side to side. The
V.F.T. also mimicked this perfectly. “Unbelievable. This is quite remarkable!”
exclaimed Mr P., scribbling frenziedly in his book. “I am so pleased I have the
video, otherwise Huxley would think I was making it up!”
He moved his hand onto the top of the
tank and patted the lid affectionately. The V.F.T lunged at him, ferociously
snapping at the glass lid. Mr P. sprang back away from the tank. More fragments
of glass had been chipped off and the V.F.T. was crunching them up in its
menacing silver jaws and sat spitting them out at the sides of the tank, as if
trying to shoot them at Mr P.
“Hmmm...you’re in a pretty lethal
mood. Better cool you off again, I think,” Mr P. flicked off the heat lamp and
turned on the ice cold air supply. He watched the V.F.T. wilt into a comatose
state. “I’d better put you in another tank, one with integral wire reinforcing
as well, just to be sure.” Mr P. suddenly had a brain wave. “I know, if I spray
some of the other batch of S.S.S 3#127457 shielding formula onto the inside and
outside of the glass, that should make it impermeable to the V.F.T. attacks and
a lot safer for us all. Then I can be sure it’s not going to get out!”
Mr P. continued with other various
tests after moving the V.F.T. to the new, more secure S.S.S. sprayed tank. He
had gathered some other plant and mineral samples to test the S.S.S batch no:
2#127456 on, which was slightly different from batch nos: 1#127455 and
3#127457.
He applied one large drop of serum on
a potato seed and planted it in ordinary garden soil in a large black plastic
pot, watered it in really well and placed it under another heat lamp in a large
metal wire holding cage. He positioned the video camera with the time delay on
and left it alone to proceed with another sample.
He sprayed the same serum directly
onto a piece of black volcanic rock. It melted into black lava all over the
desk top and then, a few minutes later, reassembled itself into its original
shape but with a nuance of a silvery glow. Mr P. picked it up in a pair on
tongs and was astounded when he realised that he could squash it into any shape
he wanted. He rolled the piece of malleable rock into a ball on the desk and
then dropped it. When it hit the floor it spread across the tiles like a shiny
silver puddle before it restored itself to its previous rock shape. “This gets
better by the minute!” Mr P. said excitedly to himself as he feverishly
scribbled more notes in his book.
Basil sat outside the laboratory with
Posie and he mewed very loudly and scratched at the door. “He’ll open the door
in a minute,” Basil said, “then I’ll show you that thing I told you about.”
Mr P. slid the hatch back. “Hello
Basil, hang on while I open the door.” When the door finally opened, Basil
padded in closely followed by Posie. “I see you’ve brought your new friend.
Hello, Posie, how are you?”
“Meiow, meiow, meiow!” replied Posie
happily as she curled herself around Mr P.’s ankles.
“Ah, I see we have another talking
cat!” laughed Mr P., stroking Posie gently on head. “Let me know if you want
anything, won’t you?” Posie mewed appreciatively and went to find Basil.
Basil was looking, not too closely,
through the new tank at the inert V.F.T. when Posie padded up to him and stared
in. “Is that the thing?” she asked, pushing her nose right onto the side of the
tank. “It doesn’t look very scary to me.”
“Yep, that’s it. Mr P. makes it like
that for safety,” replied Basil knowledgeably. “It’s a real mean plant when
it’s awake.”
Mr P. was at the other side of the
laboratory looking at the plant pot with the potato in. Small silvery green
shoots were poking through the soil. He set the video camera on normal run time
as the growth was so fast. “This is great, a real marvel. This could be the fertiliser of the future. Crop
rotation could be quarterly instead of yearly, feeding the billions of people
on the planet would be no problem...” He paused thoughtfully “...that’s if the
food grown is safe to eat, otherwise we could have a race of mutated super
humans. So many tests, not enough time!”
The potato continued to grow until it
appeared to become pot bound about one and a half hours later. It was eight
feet tall and six feet across with silvery green foliage. Basil and Posie had
moved away and were sat by the door not taking their eyes off it or the V.F.T.
or the black volcanic rock that Mr P. kept testing.
“Sam, supper’s ready,” Mrs P. shouted
through the closed metal door as she tapped on it with a wooden spoon.
“Coming dear, I won’t be a minute.”
Mr P. made sure everything was safe and secure before he opened the door and
went up to the kitchen for supper.
Basil and Posie went out into the
hall and sat on the pew by the front door. “That plant grew fast didn’t it?”
said Posie, rather alarmed by what she had seen. “Why did it do that?”
“Mr P. has this stuff he keeps in his
safe. It’s called S.S.S. Super Strength Serum... it makes things really strong
very quickly and resistant to pain and stuff. Mr P. says it gives organic
compounds bionic strength; organic-bionic,” Basil explained as concisely and
eloquently as he could. “It also forms a kind of protective barrier around the
specimen, a bit like a force field.”
“Oh, that’s interesting,” said Posie,
not really paying attention and momentarily engaged in trying to bat a fly that
was buzzing round her head. “Take that, you pest!” She took another swipe at it
and missed. Basil shook his head in mock dismay. Posie’s attention span was
non-existent.
Amber and Suzy ran down the stairs
into the hall and saw Basil and Posie sitting on the pew. “What are you two up
to?” enquired Suzy, fussing Basil.
“Looks like they are plotting
something!” Amber said, fussing Posie. “I wonder if it has anything to do with
mice? I don’t think Posie has met them yet. We had better take her to meet them
after supper, what do you think?”
“Good idea,” agreed Suzy as they
walked into the kitchen.
“Hello, Dad,” the twins said
together.
“Hi girls, how are you both?” asked
Mr P., smiling widely at his pretty daughters. He was immensely proud of them.
“Fine thanks,” replied Amber first.
“Me too!” chipped in Suzy.
“Daddy, have you got another spare
specimen cage? As my project is expanding,” asked Amber as innocently as she
could.
“I may have an odd shaped one that I
have never used that you can have. I will dig it out for you when I go back in
the lab.
“That would be great!” gushed Amber,
beaming. “Thanks.”
After supper the twins went back
upstairs closely followed by Basil and Posie. They all went to Amber’s closet
and had just sat down when Mr P. called the twins to fetch the new cage.
“Basil, watch Posie and introduce her
to the mice,” said Amber as she and Suzy left the room.
Basil walked to the cage. “Hello you
lot, whatcha doing?”
“Not much, Basil. We are a bit
cramped in here,” replied Herbert, elbowing Dwayne out of the way.
“It’s nothing we can’t cope with
though!” said Harry hurriedly, his whiskers twitching insanely.
“We are managing just fine,” butted
in Hubert, pushing his way to the front.
“Oh that’s good, you won’t want the
new cage Amber is getting for you then!” teased Basil wickedly, winking at
Posie.
“What new cage?” Horace asked
quickly.
“The new cage that Mr P. is giving to
the twins as we speak,” replied Basil, smirking.
“Really?” asked Henry in disbelief.
“Are we really getting another cage?”
“Yep, you sure are! It’s an extension
for this cage, so you’ll be living in a mouse mansion!”
“Wow!” Dwayne said dreamily,
visualising a monstrous mouse mansion. “I always wanted a big open plan,
spacious kind of a cage, wow! Do I get my own wheel if it’s that big?”
“Shut up Dwayne,” snapped Henry, his
whiskers bristling irately, “you’re so selfish at times! Just be thankful that
we won’t have to be on top of each other anymore!”
“Yeah, that’ll be a huge relief,
because you stink!” chortled Dwayne, nudging Henry out of the way.
“I may stink but at least my name
isn’t dimwit Dwayne the dimmest mouse that ever was!” Henry shouted back
angrily. “How does it feel to be so stupid that you think your reflection in
the mirror is another mouse and have a conversation with it for four hours
before you wonder why it hasn’t answered you? How dumb is that?”
“Well, at least I didn’t get my feet
glued to the exercise wheel and end up going round and round and upside down
for a whole afternoon!” said Dwayne, laughing hysterically.
“But you put the glue on there in the
first place!” screamed Henry in exasperation.
“Yeah but you, Mr Clever Clogs,
should have known! You would still be there now if that man hadn’t come and
rescued you!”
“Just shut up, shut up, shut up, I’m
not listening anymore!” squeaked Henry, vexed beyond all reason and storming
off into the box.
“Do they always go on like that?”
Basil asked Horice.
“Yeah, most of the time but we just
ignore it.”
“It's the only way,” said Harvey
calmly, “otherwise it sends you demented!”
“I feel demented after being exposed
to that little bit!” replied Basil, shaking his head. “Oh, by the way, this is
Posie, a newbie like yourselves to the Pilkington household.”
“Hello, Posie!” chimed seven squeaky
voices.
“Urm, hello back, small furry white
rodents.” She turned to Basil and whispered, “Shouldn’t we be eating them or
something? They look awfully tasty little morsels!”
“What did she say?” Horice asked,
backing away into the box.
“Nothing, it’s OK you chaps, don’t
worry, Posie is not going to eat you,” reassured Basil calmly, shooting a
sideways glance at Posie.
“I’m not?” Posie seemed confused,
“But why not? They look yummy and scrummy and should be in my tummy!”
“Is she some kind of psycho cat, Basil?”
asked Harry as he retreated away, now very scared.
“No, Posie has been living rough,
scavenging and generally not having a nice time. It could be that she is
slightly unhinged.”
“I’m not unhinged and don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” protested
Posie vehemently taking a swipe at Basil. “I just know a damn fine meal when I
see one. Well, a banquet in this case!”
“We aren't going to eat them, Posie.
They are my friends and they are now your new friends and you don’t eat
friends, do you?”
“Well, that depends if they are a
good friend or a bad friend and also on the situation. If you are starving
hungry and haven’t eaten in days and they look tasty then I say eat your
friends!” answered Posie defiantly, who was really annoyed at missing out on
the meal of a lifetime.
Basil was trying to reassure the
seven mice that they weren’t going to be a fanciful feast for one, when Amber
and Suzy came back carrying the new cage, which looked particularly odd. It had
clips on one side so that it could be attached straight on to the other cage.
It had several levels at varying heights that were connected by small ladders
and gangways.
The twins removed one side of the old
cage and quickly clipped the extension on so the mice didn’t escape.
“Amazing!” said a delighted Amber,
examining their handiwork closely. “Just look at the size of it, it’s
humongous!”
“It certainly is,” replied Suzy as
they watched the mice explore the new cage.
“Wow!” exclaimed Dwayne in wonder as
he looked around the new cage. “My prayers have been answered. I bags the
penthouse level!” “Just shut up!” snorted Henry, bristling his whiskers
angrily.
“Oh that’s just typical!” squeaked
Harvey who was furious at Dwayne. “You always bags the best bit!”
“No-one is bagsying anything!”
shouted Harry loudly, losing his temper. “We will share all of the levels,
understood?”
“OK, Harry,” squeaked six voices
together.
“Thank goodness I don’t live with all
my brothers and sisters!” sighed a relieved Basil. “I don’t think I could stand
the bickering!”
“Me either!” agreed Posie.
“They all seem really talkative with
all that squeaking and mewing going on, don’t they?” said Suzy, edging a little
closer.
“Yes, they do. I wonder what they are
saying? It would be fantastic to be able to speak to them and understand what
they are saying, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, that would be really great!”
Just then, Mrs P. called from the
landing, “Girls, are you in bed yet?”
“We will be in five minutes, Mum,”
said Amber, running out of her closet.
“OK, but I’ll be back to check on
you!” Mrs P. said, going back down stairs.
“Come on, Basil, you and Posie will
have to go now,” said Amber, hurriedly trying to get ready for bed. “We’ll see
you in the morning, OK?”
Basil mewed and strolled out onto the
landing with Posie. “What shall we do now, Basil?” asked Posie.
“Hmm, I think it’s time for a nap,”
replied Basil, yawning as he padded towards the tower room.
Posie loitered on the landing for a
little while wondering whether to go back for a mouse meal for one but then
decided against it and went chasing after Basil.
* * *
That's all for today, I do hope that I've tantalised your supurr sensitive taste-buds with this little excerpt and if mew want to read more my book is available from Amazon Everywhere!
Here's the links - should mew wish to part-take (from the comfort and safety of your favourite armchair - of course!) in my furry wild and dangerous adventures a little further:
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So for the average price of a cup of coffee, mew can get your hooman to forgo their caffeine intake for just one little iddy bitty day and buy mew my pawesome book instead - mew are doing them a great service by this, as caffeine is known to make hoomans rather excitable if drunk in large quantities - much like us consuming a little too much catnip and we all know how that is! MOL!!!
Wishing mew all a totally pawesome day and I'll be back soon with more on
furry soon!
Bestest purrs and meows as always
Basil
P.S. And if mew have any purroblems whatsoever mew'd like to discuss on The Saturday Solution with me, aka Dr. Basil - I'd be more than happy to help - no purroblem is too great or small!
