We're The 'B' Team, oppurrating from a secret bunker somewhere in middle England ~ If mew have a purroblem, if no-purrdy else can help, and if mew find can us, then purrhaps mew can hire The 'B' Team. We also share a wide array of entertaining posts to amews mew each week, so drop by often to catch up on all the fun and remember, the wurld is way better with cats!
[formerly known as Wordless on Wednesdays but we've got too much to say! MOL]
The Pink Flamingo Saga continues... in Part IX
Furstly we have to apologise fur the dreadful interruption in our programming schedule last week, it was completely unforgivable and we haven't forgiven those that were at fault or the disturbance in the force or the glitch in the cosmos!
Anyway let's move on and have a little recap...
I don't know about mew, but I could barely catch my breath after the last totally explosive episode!
Who knew that Smoochie had found my secret arms & ammo cache, but what a good job he did, otherwise I'm sure we'd probably all be totally brainless by now if it had been left to that furry mutant brain sucking furrball, Furrz the Ferocious.
I bet mew're almost delirious with excitement as we plunge head first at supurr sonic speed into episode 9, so without further adieu let the camera's roll!
If mew've missed any of the action over the last few weeks... better to start at the furry beginning otherwise mew might get a little confused!
Regular sky appeared. White fluffy clouds coasted through the beautiful big blue as we whooped in triumph.
"Really top job Smooch, those pom pom grenades were tremendous, where'd mew get them?" I asked.
He smirked and then confessed, "I found your secret ammo bunker Basil."
"Thank goodness mew did, but don't go playing with anything else, we don't want any accidents ok?" I said concerned fur his safety. "We love mew just the way mew are!" I patted him gently on the head.
"Sure thing!" Smoochie beamed happily.
"Thank goodness that's all over," Snowie sighed with relief as Amber started to stir.
"Is it?" I replied soberly looking straight at the Pesky Pink Menace.
Amber stirred slowly, her eyelids fluttering.
"Where am I?" she asked weakly as she finally opened her eyes fully. "What happened? How did I get here?"
"Do you want to tell her, or shall I?" I asked Snowie.
"I'll tell her," Snowie said with a big sigh.
The next few minutes were furry quiet in the garden, mew could've have heard pin drop as Snowie replayed every nail biting detail and tail quivering moment to Amber.
Her eyes bugged as she listened intently to the terrifying tale.
Disbelief and total incredulity followed.
Then she thought about it all for a long moment...
"Oh my cat, what have I done!" she said furry quietly, shame clinging to her like a really stinky bad smell.
Meanwhile, the pesky pink menace had hopped up onto the string which was part of the flower support system, and was busily scraping the poop from his backside.
I heard a rustling and turned to see the swinging scraping motion and was completely appalled.
"Do mew mind?" I asked in disgust.
"Mind what?" the Pink Varmint asked.
"Scraping your backside clean on that string, the P.A. will go mental if she gets it on her hands!" I supplied as answer.
"Well how else I'm supposed to get this vile guano off my posterior?" he bit back. "It's really starting to irritate my tail feathers!"
I nodded towards the pond. "Go take a bath mew stinky piece of crud." Then added under my breath. "Mew are really starting to irritate me too!"
While as much as we would have liked to film the pesky pink teleporting menacing almost drowning [bathing] in our pond, we felt it would be rather inappropriate and also somewhat voyeuristic, which kinda creeps us out a bit.
So here, we'll just share a few sound effects, so mew get the picture.
[BTW no fish were harmed during the bathing scene or frogs or any other creature that may have been unwittingly present throughout]
We waited in the courtyard and finally the pesky pink flamingo emerged through the foliage and sat on the garden bench to dry in the hot sun.
"So varmint, what do mew have to say fur yourself?" I asked sternly.
He gave us a rather perplexing look, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened whatsoever.
Me, Snowie, Smooch and Amber glanced at each other, as the disbelief washed over us like a mini tsunami.
"Mew have nothing to say, at all?" I pressed feeling the familiar fizz through my veins. "About any of your actions that led up to the opening of a trans-dimensional vortex and letting one of the most heinous creatures in the known universe come to our beautiful planet to suck the brains out of anything it wanted, including mew? BTW & FYI he nearly did!"
"Yeah Varmint," Smoochie interrupted. "Mew've got nothing to say about any of it?"
The Pink Flamingo just sat there, unmoving and completely oblivious to effurything. I nudged Smooch.
"What's up with that dude?" I asked rather perplexed.
Amber had edged a little closer. A moment later she turned and said, "He's asleep, that stinky pond smelling pesky pink varmint is asleep, can mew flipping believe it?"
The sound of zzzzzzz's were getting louder.
Snowie shook her head in dismay and then a really, really evil, scheming plotting expression passed over her normally white fuzzy angelic face.
"I've got a plan... follow me," she said a wicked twinkle gleaming in her eyes.
~A short while later~
"Where am I?" the pink varmint asked rather bewildered at his new and undetermined location. "What happened? How did I get here?"
I felt like I was experiencing deja vu, I'd heard the exact same thing... somewhere, at some point...
[but anyway I'm digressing let's get back to the story]
"Mew," I began. "Are our prisoner and this is your new home, isn't it lovely!"
[No that wasn't a question, and yes it is actually lovely - statement of truth]
In a sweeping gesture with my paw, I indicated that he was now inside the summerhouse.
"Screw you guys, I'm poofing off!" The pinkness replied with a rather salacious grin. "And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
I raised an eyebrow and gave him a look, one that needed no words if mew were there to see it. But as mew weren't I'll describe it.
The look I gave him was akin to the uber classic, Flint Westwood from the Filthy Harold Movies; the 'go ahead, make my day' look
He began to tremble and his feathers twitched, as he readied himself to **POOF** off.
We sat back and reclined on the P.A.'s furry nice leather chaise-lounge and watched with mild curiosity as pink menace began to vibrate at such a high frequency he was just a pink blur.
A minute later he stopped, dead in his tracks, well flapping anyway. Breathless, sweaty and realising that he was trapped with no way to escape, he screamed wildly in acute agitation.
We all gave him our; we couldn't give a monkeys tails aunts uncles pip or a fat rats arse fur that matter!
"What have you eeeeeeeevil, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil cats done?" he spat venomously through the bars.
Smoochie who was on the end of chaise accidentally rolled off and landed on the rug. Gathering himself up, he walked forward and said in his furry bestest ice cold tone.
"Mew have no idea what we are truly capable of!"
Well, we're furry sorry to have to leave it there, but there's only so many hours in a day fur napping and it's nap time, long overdue in fact. And we guess that mew've got even more questions, such as:
Why aren't there any big whizzzzeeee blingy special effects this week? [because there were no whizzzzeeeee blingy happenings that required them]
Will there be any special effects next week? [Only time will tell]
Did the P.A. come home yet and see the scorch marks on the lawn? [No, not yet - arrival is imminent though]
Are mew sure no pondlife was injured during the drowning (bathing) scene? [We've had no reports contrary to our statement]
How did mew get the pink varmint into the cage? [That was easy, Amber got some cat-mint leaves, made a liquid poultice which we put over his mouth to keep him out fur the count while we carried (dragged) him to the cage]
Why do mew have a cage like that? Should we be worried? [It's the P.A.'s - she found it in a junk shop eons ago, and no there's nothing fur visiting furriends to worry about]
How will mew explain that the summerhouse is now a jail fur looney marauding flamingos? [good point, we'll have to think on that]
What will the P.A. say if she unexpectedly finds the looney marauding flamingo in it before mew tell her? [Hmmmm, another good question, yet we are at a loss to answer it right now]
What is stopping the pesky pinkness from teleporting away or poofing off? [That will be answered in next weeks episode]
And what did Smoochie mean when he said and I quote: "Mew have no idea what we are truly capable of!" [That is also partly revealed in next weeks episode]
Should we be worried about such a hostile and pugnacious declaration? [That depends on whether you're a looney pink bird or not]
Are we still safe from the brain sucking aliens? [Yes, fur now as far as I know. I've not received any intel to say the contrary from the F.I.B.]
It's time to say bye fur now, we've really enjoyed your company again and hope you'll stop by tomorrow fur our Thinking about Thursday segment.
Don't furget that mew can still enter the monster fantabulous give-away happening on the Pet Parade, there are soooo many pawesome goodies to be got, it would be criminal not to enter!
We hope that we find mew well on this bright and sunny Monday morn, especially after the brilliant pawties on Friday to celebrate our 1st Aninnversary of The Pet Parade. If mew happened to fall off the planet last week and inadvertantly missed it - it's not too late - mew can still join in and enter the pawesome monster give-away, click here to find out more.
And moving on... it's great to be here again sharing our latest Arty-Farty feature, we love Mondays! Anyhoo, we went cruising around the interwebs over the weekend and found this to share with mew this week. So if mew've effur fancied yourself on the cover of one of these prestigious magazines, here's your oppurtunity.
To see previous weeks, click any of the links below:
Obviously being the uber cool cat that I am, I had to take the Rolling Stone Cover and as the cover says, He's still got that RED-HOT MAGIC
Who can argue with that!?! MOL
But don't ask me about the 'WET, HOT and LOUD!'
Amber is rocking on Glamours' Cover, but apparently she's not too happy about the 'How much sex is enough?' question or the 'Newest, Freshest, Cheapest' line, but I said, "Beggars can't be choosers, just be grateful that mew had your furry fizzog on the cover!" [Jeez she can be difficult and after last weeks Wanted Poster, mew'd think she's be delighted with this!!!]
Humphrey is being all small, dark and mysterious on the cover of People Magazine, and he's lapping up that headline: 100 Most Beautiful People - Summers Hottest Bachelors!
We're done fur the day, but we'll be back with Episode 9 of The Pink Flamingo Saga on Wednesday. We are still spitting feathers after the total shambles that was last weeks attempt to post it, howeffur one most excellent thing did come from that ballz up and that was that truly pawesome elevator mewsic, just thinking about it has completely erased Usher's tune from my mind and I'm all uber chilled and supurr relaxed now...pawesome!
So we'll wish mew all epic purrs and hope to see mew on Wednesday